{"id":520,"date":"2018-10-31T15:00:56","date_gmt":"2018-10-31T21:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/?p=520"},"modified":"2018-10-31T17:15:03","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T23:15:03","slug":"how-do-we-discuss-what-really-matters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/2018\/10\/31\/how-do-we-discuss-what-really-matters\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do We Discuss What Really Matters?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"AgLegacy_IMAGE\"<\/a><\/p>\n

#AGLEGACY.org #FarmSuccession #EstatePlanning<\/p>\n

Each difficult conversation is made up of three, distinct conversations: the What Happened? Conversation; the Feelings Conversation; and the Identity Conversation.<\/p>\n

Mistakes in Difficult Conversations
\nMistake 1 – Our assumptions about intentions are often wrong. Mistake 2 – Our good intentions don\u2019t sanitize our bad impact. Mistake 3 – Blaming the other person.<\/p>\n

Contributions to Difficult Conversations
\nMapping contributions to the problem can lead to a much better understanding of the situation. Ask \u201cWhat is the other person contributing?\u201d, \u201cWhat am I contributing?\u201d and \u201cWho else is involved?\u201d Understanding what has contributed to the problem makes it easier to examine all the issues, as well as encourage learning and change.<\/p>\n

Feelings in Difficult Conversations
\nHow we handle our feelings can often explain how a situation got out of hand. It is
\nbest if we own our own feelings, while keeping in mind that: feelings matter, we often try to block our feelings, unexpressed feelings can make it difficult to listen, and feelings are normal and natural.<\/p>\n

Learning Conversations and the Third Story
\nA learning conversation should focus on: 1. Learning their story, 2. Expressing your views and feelings; and 3. Working together to explore possible solutions. One helpful way forward is to begin from the third story, keeping in mind that there is: my story, their story, and the Third Story (the real story). Get the other person\u2019s story, share your story, then move to consider the three conversations: \u201cWhat happened?\u201d, \u201cWhat feelings were involved?\u201d, and \u201cWhat identity issues were involved?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

#AGLEGACY.org #FarmSuccession #EstatePlanning Each difficult conversation is made up of three, distinct conversations: the What Happened? Conversation; the Feelings Conversation; and the Identity Conversation. Mistakes in Difficult Conversations Mistake 1 – Our assumptions about intentions are often wrong. Mistake 2 – Our good intentions don\u2019t sanitize our bad impact. Mistake 3 – Blaming the other person. Contributions to Difficult Conversations Mapping contributions to the problem can lead to a much better understanding of the situation. Ask \u201cWhat is the other person contributing?\u201d, \u201cWhat am I contributing?\u201d and \u201cWho else is involved?\u201d Understanding what has contributed to the problem makes it easier to examine all the issues, as well as encourage learning and change. Feelings in Difficult Conversations How we handle our feelings can often explain how a situation got out of hand. It is best if we own our own feelings, while keeping in mind that: feelings matter, we often try to block our feelings, unexpressed feelings can make it difficult to listen, and feelings are normal and natural. Learning Conversations and the Third Story A learning conversation should focus on: 1. Learning their story, 2. Expressing your views and feelings; and 3. Working together to explore possible solutions. One helpful way forward is to begin from the third story, keeping in mind that there is: my story, their story, and the Third Story (the real story). Get the other person\u2019s story, share your story, then move to consider the three conversations: \u201cWhat happened?\u201d, \u201cWhat feelings were involved?\u201d, and \u201cWhat … Continue reading How Do We Discuss What Really Matters?<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=520"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":523,"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520\/revisions\/523"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uwagec.org\/aglegacy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}